For Mt. Macco Christmas, we made the wise decision to fry a turkey. (And donuts.) We took all the necessary precautions including doing the cooking outside in sub-zero temperatures, well away from the beautiful Air Bnb that Pops’n’Oma had rented. The one precaution we forgot to take was keeping Uncle Jeremy the fuck away from the thing. At one point, Uncle Cooper asked him to check the temperature and, not having a working flashlight, Jeremy had the bright idea to illuminate the thermometer by holding a lit goddamn lighter right next to the boiling oil. In retrospect, we probably shouldn’t have risked startling him by yelling “WHATTHEFUCKAREYOUDOINGGETTHATFUCKINGFIREAWAYFROMTHERE!”