Thanks to the American policy of imposing our paranoia on other countries, I had to go through all sorts of ridiculous security in South Africa. In addition to being subjected to the typical screening procedures in Cape Town, they set up some tables outside the gate in Joburg (that’s what the cool kids call it). I had gotten there early, found an outlet, and was happily (and productively!) pecking away at my laptop. They kicked everyone out of the seating area, separated us by gender, and had us first spread ’em for a patdown in the middle of the terminal then open our carry-on luggage and take everything out. Take that, terrorists!

The third guy to look at my passport told me I looked sad. I told him I was tired.